Hot Tea and the Holy Spirit

Right now, it's trendy to talk about "taking up space"--especially as a concept for parents to instill in their kids.  I get where the notion is coming from, but I think we need to wrestle with it a bit before we paint it on our walls.  First, let me ackowledge that there are people (and groups of people) who, at various points in history (including the present day), have felt like they weren't allowed to take up space. There are varrying degrees of intensity to this, of course, but I want to legitimize that starting point before we move on. Sometimes people are marginalized, pushed aside, ignored, neglected, unheard, and minimized. That is not okay. If your desire to "take up space" is a response to this kind of treatment, who can blame you?  But is taking up space really the goal? Anything can take up space--if you don't believe me, come look at my garage. Empty boxes, broken refrigerators. I'd love to set up a super-basic home gym in there, but ...

Have you ever heard someone say that doing a certain thing would be like putting lipstick on a pig? It's a phrase we Southerners use to describe an action that is of little significance. You can put lipstick on a pig all day long, but it doesn't change the fact that it's a pig. At the end of the day, that lipstick's gonna be all smudged off in the slop.  Matthew 7:6 conjures similar imagery: Do not give dogs what is sacred, do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. (NIV) Reading this verse, I often imagine the comical irony of a big 'ole potbelly pig sloshing and slurping up slop in lipstick, pearls, and sparkly stilettos.  However, while the imagery of the verse has always been good for a chuckle, wrestling with its meaning used to make my mind feel as messy as a pig sty, too.   In its context, the verse can read a little like an awkward and caustic non sequitur summing up a convicting...

I've been crying a lot lately.  Not like all-day sob-fests, but a minute here, a minute there--just enough to wet the steering wheel when my new favorite song, Counting My Blessings by Seph Schlueter, comes on the radio in the school carline. By the time the kids are in the car, the evidence is all dried up, but the crossing guard might have gotten a show. This song has been hitting me hard.  The more that I look in the details, the more of Your goodness I find.--SS To explain my delicate emotions, let me fill you in on a few of my details .  The first detail is that I'm house-hunting. Well, sort of. We're intending to move when school gets out, so we're basically voyeuring on Zillow without any actual buying power until we can list and sell our current home.  The second detail is that the other day I found my dream home.  Technically my husband found it. He had this wild look in his eye as he began to turn his phone screen in my direction. "If we really wante...

Practice,  noun.     the actual application or use of an idea, belief, or method, as opposed to theories relating to it. Practice,  verb.     perform (an activity) or exercise (a skill) repeatedly or regularly in order to improve or maintain one's proficiency. -- Oxford Languages  "Practice makes perfect." I'm sure you've heard the phrase. To me it brings to mind the time I hid my piano books because I'd rather have watched tv or played outside than spent the afternoon working on chord progressions in the basement.  "Practice makes perfect," my mom would remind me. But I had better things to do.  "If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?" I was very proud of my response. Of course, I was the one who had asked for the piano in the first place, and I would have loved to perform flawlessly in the school talent shows like many of my friends. But I didn't want to put in the time.  My mom always reminded me...

The other day I was reading the "How to Read Matthew" preface to the Book of Matthew in my old NIV Student Bible, and I came across the following instruction: "First, consider how it differs from the other three Gospels; this will give you some idea of Matthew's distinct purpose." First, consider how it differs; this will give you some idea of its distinct purpose.  Here, in this obvious but all-too-overlooked advice, I think there is something to be said about how we should consider our own differences.  We often look at differences as a bad thing. I'm always telling my kids, "comparison is the thief of joy," and I stand by that mantra.  However, when we are able to see our differences not as ways that we are less than or greater than those around us, but rather as different textures, different brushstrokes, different colors, different mediums and techniques (all used for their unique beauty) in God's divine gallery, we can compare, or "c...

Because. I. Said. So.  Four words so familiar and iconic they titled a movie starring Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore.  We all heard those four words growing up, and many of us swore we'd never use them on our own kids. But let's be real: most of us have.  When I first became a parent, I looked at because I said so as a total copout--the phrase parents use when they don't feel like dignifying their kids with a real response.  And I suppose, at times, this may be true.  But 12 years and five kids into my parenting journey, I have found that  sometimes , those are the four most appropriate words to say.  My nine-year-old is incredibly literal and fact-driven. He needs to understand everything . I always try to make sure I explain my reasons and rationale for rules and reprimands very clearly to him, and most of the time he is very obedient. He likes to stay out of trouble, and he genuinely values doing the right thing. Sometimes, however, he perceives some...

Have you ever had an aching back? A crick in the neck? Something with your muscles, bones, ligaments, or tendons that was just off ? Many moons ago I trained to be a Pilates instructor. Pilates is a full-body exercise discipline that focuses on strengthening a body's "core" or "powerhouse," which includes all of the muscles of the abdomen, glutes, and back. When these muscles are strengthened, they help hold everything else in alignment. Alignment is one of the key pillars of Pilates. Done properly, Pilates strengthens and restores, and is even frequently recommended for physical therapy patients. However, as is the case with most forms of exercise, if done incorrectly, it can cause strain and even damage. Your body needs to be properly aligned (or moving toward alignment) to do the simple moves effectively. Proper and effective movement encourages and reinforces alignment, which allows the moves to be even more powerful. I thought of all this when reflecting on...

I wrote the following post back when my almost-three- year-old was almost two. I don't know why I sat on it for so long, but today the time has come to share! I hope it blesses you in some way today! *** Raising kids is hard.  My husband and I had great intentions when embarking on our parenting journey. We promised ourselves we would prioritize consistency, love, and respect, taking the time to calmly address the heart of any issue with our kids rather than reacting in rage.  We started out strong. But with each kid added to the mix, consistency became a trickier and more elusive concept. Suddenly we found that we were yelling a lot more than we ever thought we would, and our kids followed suit. We wanted to be a grace-filled family, but we were having a hard time balancing grace and authority.  I remember watching one of our friends, a pastor, discipline his three kids at various points, and I always admired the way he was firm but loving.  He kept his composure, a...

After the Uvalde, TX, elementary school shooting in May of 2022, I wrote the following post but never posted it. I never could get the words quite right, and eventually I just kind of shelved it and forgot about it.  Today, after receiving news about an elementary school shooting in my hometown of Nashville, TN, it seemed like time to revisit it.  Here goes. . .  Mumbo Jumbo I read a Facebook post the other day that got me all tied up in knots.  The post, in reaction to the recent elementary-school shooting in Uvalde, suggested that gun control and mental health initiatives as means of preventing such acts of terror were a bunch of "mumbo jumbo" and went on to list what kids these days actually need in order not to become mass murderers.  The list included wonderful things such as riding bikes with neighbors and cousins, making s'mores, attending Sunday school, watching fireworks, eating popcorn, getting good discipline, doing chores, eating home-cooked meals, ...

Growing up, I thought all Christians were best friends.  I knew my church was Presbyterian and that it was much more fun than the Episcopal one I went to with a friend once after a Saturday sleepover. I knew my brother's preschool was Church of Christ and that their playground had the best slide. I knew my babysitter went to a Freewill Baptist college that deemed Amy Grant too much like progressive rock and therefore not suitable for auditory consumption. I knew my grandparents attended a Methodist church near the mall with the best bookstore.  I had heard of all these denominations and others but never thought too much about them. They were all Christian , and that's what mattered.  As I entered high school I began to get the sense that denominational divides might denote doctrinal differences. I discovered words like Calvinism and predestination, but I was okay with the tension in these topics. My Christian high school was nondenominational, and so was I.  When my ...

As I write today, I am on day 4 of a fast.  Now, the Bible says fasts should be done in secret: When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matthew 6:16-18, NIV So why am I declaring my fast to the world? I tell you of my fast not to boast, but to confess.  Every January my church encourages congregational participation in 21 days of prayer and fasting, and every January, I can't wait to start.  This is because annually, by year's end, my family tends to be in need of a massive reset.  Inevitably, by December our choices in food, the things we spend our time on, and the ways we treat each other have gone off t...

This Thanksgiving I went to the beach with my family to scatter my mom's ashes.  It was hard, and I hate that she is gone, but it was one of the best and purest Thanksgivings of my life.  Often the substance of the holiday is choked out by preparations and pleasantries, feasting and football--all the good things that stand in the way of the great. This year that was not the case. This year we pieced together a meal of store-bought ham and pies, boxed macaroni and cheese, and frozen chicken nuggets. My aunt made a salad and baked some sweet potatoes, and my stepsister baked homemade chocolate-chip cookies. It was filling and festive and tasty and more than enough. We welcomed nine kids and ten adults into the living room and balcony of a small condo, and somehow there was the perfect amount of space for belly-laughing, fellowshipping, and filling our bellies. There was no wine, no adult-beverage to be seen, and somehow I didn't miss it.  I can't speak for everyone there, b...

From magazines to memes, secular to spiritual, the topic of self-care has been trending for years. As far as I can tell, there are two primary reasons for the obsession: 1) Marketing. Advertisers know that people are tired, stressed, stretched thin, taking on more than we probably should, and trying to look good while doing so. They know that we are all basically waiting for someone to say, "Treat yo self; You deserve it!"  And they know that if they can convince us that treating ourselves is actually necessary for the greater good, then we might just take them up on it. Pedicures so I can be a better mom? Heck yes.  2) Necessity. The truth is, we should be taking care of ourselves. Like any gift from God, our bodies and our minds are both a privilege and a responsibility to steward to the best of our ability. But what does self-care actually mean for a Christian? Here's one way to look at it: Self- care : putting your needs above other people's wants. Self ish : put...

"Jesus wept."  ( John 11:35 ) I don't think it's any accident that this is the only two-word sentence in the Bible, making it the tome's shortest and therefore securing its spot as a prime piece of Bible trivia that even non-Christians might know.  I think God wanted this sentence to stand out so that we would take note. He wanted us to know that is was there. The context of the verse is this: Jesus was very good friends with two sisters and their brother. While Jesus was in a different town, He received a message from the sisters that their brother was very sick. Jesus declared right away that the sickness would not end in death, but by the time He got to their town, His friend had been dead for four days.  When the sisters and some of their friends came out to meet Him, they were weeping. Jesus was moved to tears, and He wept with them.  Then Jesus shocked everyone by going to His friend's tomb and commanding him to come out, and that once-reeking corpse, al...