The Challenging Art of Self-Care

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From magazines to memes, secular to spiritual, the topic of self-care has been trending for years.

As far as I can tell, there are two primary reasons for the obsession:

1) Marketing. Advertisers know that people are tired, stressed, stretched thin, taking on more than we probably should, and trying to look good while doing so. They know that we are all basically waiting for someone to say, "Treat yo self; You deserve it!" 

And they know that if they can convince us that treating ourselves is actually necessary for the greater good, then we might just take them up on it. Pedicures so I can be a better mom? Heck yes. 

2) Necessity. The truth is, we should be taking care of ourselves. Like any gift from God, our bodies and our minds are both a privilege and a responsibility to steward to the best of our ability.

But what does self-care actually mean for a Christian?

Here's one way to look at it:

Self-care: putting your needs above other people's wants.

Selfish: putting your wants above other people's needs. 

We all know we need food, air, water, shelter, and clothing (unless you're part of a naturist community, in which case, I suppose you can get by on just the first four). 

But what are our other needs?

Here are my top two:

2) I need to prioritize my mental health. Whatever that looks like, it is important. I cannot be the best mom/wife/friend/whatever I can be if I do not take this seriously. Maybe your mental-health needs are met by counseling, medication, exercise, or meditation. Maybe it's in a regular phone call or visit with a friend. Maybe it's met completely in the next and most important item on this list . . . 

1) I need to prioritize my relationship with God. If I had to single out one need and one only, this would be it. This is the heart of self-care. 

There is a popular saying that you can't pour out of an empty cup. Being in constant communion with the Creator is how that cup gets filled. 

Sometimes, with our busy schedules, constant auditory overload, and kids climbing on us as though we are human jungle gyms, it seems easier to pencil in a pedicure than to crawl into a corner for a quiet time. But God is bigger than our calendar, mightier than our to-do lists, and He can meet us in the loud times, too. 

I love these Steven Curtis Chapman lyrics:

Let us pray, let us pray, everywhere and every way

Every moment of the day it is the right time. 

Let us pray without end, and when we finish, start again

Like breathing out and breathing in,  let us pray.

We don't have to literally be on our knees by our bedside to be on our knees before our Lord. When we can secure a silent moment in that big, cozy chair by the window with a view of the lake, Bible in our lap, favorite mug in our hand, we definitely should. 

Those meetings with God are so very cup-filling.

But sometimes we may go days or weeks without that kind of respite. In fact, if you're like me, those idyllic quiet times are few and far between. In the more hectic seasons, self-care may look like an intentional perspective shift to find God wherever He has placed us. In those moments, we may find God in the breathing out and breathing in. Maybe we slow our breath and pause in thankfulness. In the song "Your Grace Finds Me," Matt Redman declares, I'm breathing in Your grace and breathing out Your praise.

Sometimes we have to cry out to God silently, at the grocery store or in the carline, and beg for Him to pour out His Spirit on us. 

Andrew Ripp sings this prayer:

Fill my cup, Lord

Run it over

Give me love, give me joy

Give me peace

Fill my cup, Lord

Run it over

I am Your child in need

Lord, I need you

To fill my cup

God is the great cup-filler. Self-care starts with seeking Him. 

Jeremiah 29:13 states, You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart.

Matthew 11:28-33 invites us to find comfort and rest in Jesus:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 6:25-33 says this: 

But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore, do not be anxious, saying, What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

Seek Him FIRST. Search for Him with all your heart. Find REST for your soul. 

That is the epitome of self-care. 


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