Why I Don't Teach My Daughter to "Take up Space"

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Catchy phrases come and go, but some should be wrestled with while they're around.

It's trendy to talk about "taking up space" these days--especially as a concept for parents to instill in their kids. 

I get where the notion is coming from, but I think we need to wrestle with it a bit before we paint it on our walls. 

First, let me ackowledge that there are people (and groups of people) who, at various points in history (including the present day), have felt like they weren't allowed to take up space. There are varrying degrees of intensity to this, of course, but I want to legitimize that starting point before we move on. Sometimes people are marginalized, pushed aside, ignored, neglected, unheard, and minimized. That is not okay. If your desire to "take up space" is a response to this kind of treatment, who can blame you? 

But is taking up space really the goal?

Anything can take up space--if you don't believe me, come look at my garage. Empty boxes, broken refrigerators. I'd love to set up a super-basic home gym in there, but we don't even have space to park a car!

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be wasted space, an empty box.

Nor do I want to suck all the air out of the room. 

Have you ever been around someone who truly embodies the concept of taking up space? Someone who doesn't care what they're interrupting when they enter a space and has no concern for the mess they leave in their wake when they depart?

If we teach our kids that the most important thing they can do is look out for themselves--to demand respect--we're not creating adults who deserve respect. 

We all want a seat at the table, but do we really want to be the only one sitting there? We should not merely take up space, but also make space. It's a symbiosis. 

The space we take up should matter, should make the world better. And that happens best when we're willing to share space with each other. 

Scripture readings:

Luke 14:7-11

Philippeans 2:3-4

1 Peter 5:5

Matthew 23:11-12

Matthew 23:25-27


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