Hot Tea and the Holy Spirit

Because. I. Said. So.  Four words so familiar and iconic they titled a movie starring Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore.  We all heard those four words growing up, and many of us swore we'd never use them on our own kids. But let's be real: most of us have.  When I first became a parent, I looked at because I said so as a total copout--the phrase parents use when they don't feel like dignifying their kids with a real response.  And I suppose, at times, this may be true.  But 12 years and five kids into my parenting journey, I have found that  sometimes , those are the four most appropriate words to say.  My nine-year-old is incredibly literal and fact-driven. He needs to understand everything . I always try to make sure I explain my reasons and rationale for rules and reprimands very clearly to him, and most of the time he is very obedient. He likes to stay out of trouble, and he genuinely values doing the right thing. Sometimes, however, he perceives some...

Have you ever had an aching back? A crick in the neck? Something with your muscles, bones, ligaments, or tendons that was just off ? Many moons ago I trained to be a Pilates instructor. Pilates is a full-body exercise discipline that focuses on strengthening a body's "core" or "powerhouse," which includes all of the muscles of the abdomen, glutes, and back. When these muscles are strengthened, they help hold everything else in alignment. Alignment is one of the key pillars of Pilates. Done properly, Pilates strengthens and restores, and is even frequently recommended for physical therapy patients. However, as is the case with most forms of exercise, if done incorrectly, it can cause strain and even damage. Your body needs to be properly aligned (or moving toward alignment) to do the simple moves effectively. Proper and effective movement encourages and reinforces alignment, which allows the moves to be even more powerful. I thought of all this when reflecting on...

I wrote the following post back when my almost-three- year-old was almost two. I don't know why I sat on it for so long, but today the time has come to share! I hope it blesses you in some way today! *** Raising kids is hard.  My husband and I had great intentions when embarking on our parenting journey. We promised ourselves we would prioritize consistency, love, and respect, taking the time to calmly address the heart of any issue with our kids rather than reacting in rage.  We started out strong. But with each kid added to the mix, consistency became a trickier and more elusive concept. Suddenly we found that we were yelling a lot more than we ever thought we would, and our kids followed suit. We wanted to be a grace-filled family, but we were having a hard time balancing grace and authority.  I remember watching one of our friends, a pastor, discipline his three kids at various points, and I always admired the way he was firm but loving.  He kept his composure, a...

After the Uvalde, TX, elementary school shooting in May of 2022, I wrote the following post but never posted it. I never could get the words quite right, and eventually I just kind of shelved it and forgot about it.  Today, after receiving news about an elementary school shooting in my hometown of Nashville, TN, it seemed like time to revisit it.  Here goes. . .  Mumbo Jumbo I read a Facebook post the other day that got me all tied up in knots.  The post, in reaction to the recent elementary-school shooting in Uvalde, suggested that gun control and mental health initiatives as means of preventing such acts of terror were a bunch of "mumbo jumbo" and went on to list what kids these days actually need in order not to become mass murderers.  The list included wonderful things such as riding bikes with neighbors and cousins, making s'mores, attending Sunday school, watching fireworks, eating popcorn, getting good discipline, doing chores, eating home-cooked meals, ...

Growing up, I thought all Christians were best friends.  I knew my church was Presbyterian and that it was much more fun than the Episcopal one I went to with a friend once after a Saturday sleepover. I knew my brother's preschool was Church of Christ and that their playground had the best slide. I knew my babysitter went to a Freewill Baptist college that deemed Amy Grant too much like progressive rock and therefore not suitable for auditory consumption. I knew my grandparents attended a Methodist church near the mall with the best bookstore.  I had heard of all these denominations and others but never thought too much about them. They were all Christian , and that's what mattered.  As I entered high school I began to get the sense that denominational divides might denote doctrinal differences. I discovered words like Calvinism and predestination, but I was okay with the tension in these topics. My Christian high school was nondenominational, and so was I.  When my ...

As I write today, I am on day 4 of a fast.  Now, the Bible says fasts should be done in secret: When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matthew 6:16-18, NIV So why am I declaring my fast to the world? I tell you of my fast not to boast, but to confess.  Every January my church encourages congregational participation in 21 days of prayer and fasting, and every January, I can't wait to start.  This is because annually, by year's end, my family tends to be in need of a massive reset.  Inevitably, by December our choices in food, the things we spend our time on, and the ways we treat each other have gone off t...

This Thanksgiving I went to the beach with my family to scatter my mom's ashes.  It was hard, and I hate that she is gone, but it was one of the best and purest Thanksgivings of my life.  Often the substance of the holiday is choked out by preparations and pleasantries, feasting and football--all the good things that stand in the way of the great. This year that was not the case. This year we pieced together a meal of store-bought ham and pies, boxed macaroni and cheese, and frozen chicken nuggets. My aunt made a salad and baked some sweet potatoes, and my stepsister baked homemade chocolate-chip cookies. It was filling and festive and tasty and more than enough. We welcomed nine kids and ten adults into the living room and balcony of a small condo, and somehow there was the perfect amount of space for belly-laughing, fellowshipping, and filling our bellies. There was no wine, no adult-beverage to be seen, and somehow I didn't miss it.  I can't speak for everyone there, b...