Bedtime Ramblings on Grace, Law, and Parenting.

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I am a parent. 

Five kids in, you'd think I'd have things figured out, but moments of clarity quickly give way to moments of mind-crushing chaos. 

I struggle with the duality of administering grace while remaining consistent in the application of rules that are in everyone's best interest. 

Voices, some with faces I know and some a mere amalgam of things I've read or assumptions I've made, fight for dominance in my mind:

"You can't let her get away with that."

"Oh no he didn't!"

"She better not have said what I just heard her say."

If you've seen the animated movie Inside Out, you can imagine my blustery red Anger getting all fueled up and ready to spew fire, ready to lay down the law.

Often it gets to that point because I let the rules get squishy in the name of grace (or convenience), and consistency goes out the door. Limits get tested, feelings get hurt, vocal chords get strained. 

When I consistently apply the rules we have established in our home, the kids can feel more secure, even comforted, knowing what to expect from me. They may not like it in the moment, but ultimately there is less push back and strife when the rules are calmly and consistently applied than when they are more of a moving target. There is bondage in the insecurity of wondering how the rules might be twisted tonight or tomorrow. I was thinking about this tonight, how the Law can be love, how it can be freedom. 

Of course, sometimes rules can become obsolete and oppressive. Sometimes we have to take a step back and look at the heart of the rule and its purpose for being. Sometimes rules must be rewritten to continue to reflect the heart of their creator, the heart of the parent who cares.

Sometimes a set of rules are less effective than a set example. 

Enter Jesus, enter grace.

The Law says, "I care enough to give you structure, to give you something that is yours, to set you apart, to call you my own, and to help you learn to make righteous choices."

Grace says, "I see you struggling; I see you striving. I care enough to give you more and better than you deserve, to ease your burden, to help you learn to love."

It's a beautiful mystery how both are intertwined, freeing in their own ways, and ultimately fulfilled in each other. 




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